Night Whispers
by enpauriel
Summary: One shot. A 'missing scene' from One Breath. Mulder is talking to Scully in the hospital.


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. Well, the nurse perhaps, but Mulder, Scully and Dr Daly were invented by Chris Carter and FOX.

"Have you done her obs yet?" Dr Daly asked me, the nurse in charge of keeping an eye on one Special Agent Doctor Dana Katherine Scully. A mouthful at the best of times, but Dr Daly didn't even need to inform me which 'she' he was talking about, I knew I was behind on my rounds and she was the last person on them.

I shook my head and heaved myself out of my chair, grabbing a pen from my pocket as I walked past him.

"Doing them now." I replied, and he nodded in satisfaction.

Intending to make this quick so I could go home before too much longer I hurried across the hallway toward her room, but stopped at the door as I heard a voice coming from inside. Visiting hours were long over, so who would be in there now? Standing up on my toes I peered through the window, and saw her partner, the lanky fellow that calls himself Mulder, sitting by her bedside. He shifted slightly and I ducked down a little, thinking he'd seen me, but he was just pulling something from under the neck of his shirt. I rose up again and squinted, and saw that it was a necklace. A tiny piece of gold in the shape of a cross. He clenched his fingers round it and began to speak again. His voice was quiet, but the place was so deserted that I could hear every word.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I really didn't, but the first few words he spoke had me hooked and I found myself rooted to the spot, forgetting my desire to leave as his words flowed in the silence, slowing my breathing down so my own heartbeat wouldn't stop me hearing what he was saying.

"I feel, Scully, that you believe. You're not ready to go. And you've always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here will help bring you back. But I'm here. I can't not be.

I don't really understand it myself, Scully. We've been partners less than two years, and it's been less than one since you stopped reporting to Blevins, stopped being the reluctant spy I accused you of being. Yet despite that my life is falling apart around me. I never believed that anything could affect me as badly as losing Samantha did, as blaming myself for her disappearance did. Turns out something can. Blaming myself for _your_ disappearance.

I should have been there, Scully, or at least got there faster. When I burst through your door and saw the mess on the floor, your phone dangling from its wire, I went numb. I called the police and the FBI straight away of course but I wasn't really aware of doing it. When Sam was taken I remember going silent, speaking to no one, barely even moving. It was like that with you too, except this time I had to move, had to find you, had to get to you before Barry did something I would have to kill him for.

They thought I did, you know. Kill him I mean. I don't think they'd even have blamed me really if I had done, they could all see what this was doing to me, but there was no point in blaming him when it was my fault. I was too late again Scully. I failed you twice. You once said you didn't need me to protect you and that's true, but I should have had your back Scully. That's what partners do. That's what friends do.

I don't know if you can hear me. The doctors say it's possible, that it helps to talk to you, gives you something to focus on, to fight your way back to. Can't imagine that you want to come back to me but your mom told me I was to try, and I didn't dare disobey her. I certainly know where you got that glare of yours from now.

I know, I'm rambling, I just really don't know what to say. If I were religious I'd pray. Actually I've been praying anyway. It's to a god I don't believe in but I know you do, and I can only hope that if he exists he grants my prayers for your sake. You don't deserve this. They only hurt you because they know it hurts me. I don't know how they knew that before me, I'm supposed to be the wonder profiler and I can't even figure out my own weaknesses.

You know what ignore what I just said. You're not my weakness, you're my strength. Why else would I go to pieces without you by my side? You'll probably leave me when you wake up, not wanting to suffer the darkness that I pull everyone around me into any longer. I'm glad, I don't want you to be hurt, but I don't want you to go either, I'd miss you. Huh, wouldn't have caught me saying that about a colleague before you came along.

I told your sister I couldn't come be with you tonight. I guess I lied. I was going to do something really stupid tonight Scully but she stopped me, and I've never been so glad that someone burst into my home uninvited and told me what an idiot I was. The Scully temper really must be genetic. Anyway she made me see what a fool I was being, staying away from you because, I don't know, because I believed that just my presence would cause you more pain. I'm not sure I was wrong though, there have been people here the last couple of days, people I don't want anywhere near you. Cancer Man said the only reason you were returned was because he liked you. I don't know whether that fills me more with relief or terror. I can only hope it means that he won't do anything to you in the future, but he knows now just how important you are to me.

What am I doing? I'm supposed to be encouraging you to come back to us and all I'm doing is talking about me and probably making you want to get out of here as soon as possible. I'm sorry. I should probably go. The nurses weren't too happy about letting me in anyway, especially after the scene I made when you were first brought in. I think they understood though that I needed to be here, even if it's just to say goodbye. I hope with all my heart that the next time I'm here you will be wide awake and on the road to recovery, but my life has taught me to fear the worst. Whatever happens though, I am here for you, and I will be for as long as you need me. I just hope that you'll be here as long as I need you."

Slowly he stood up, still clutching the tiny cross in his hand. He leant over the bed and placed a gentle kiss on her pale forehead, seeming all too aware of the wires and needles inserted in her too thin arms. Pulling back he gazed down at her for a long moment, as if trying to think of something more to say, but in the end he shook his head and turned away. The time for words was done. It was up to her now.

His heavy footsteps told me he was heading toward the door and I moved away a little though I still kept him in sight, watching as he paused at the door and looked back into the room. His mouth moved, and though I couldn't hear what he was saying I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks as he spoke. Finally he turned away again, closed the door and set off down the corridor, dashing the tears away from his face with his knuckles as he did so. He paused again at the double doors at the end of the hallway, squared his shoulders, and walked out into the cold night.

I stood still for a few moments more, waiting to make sure he had really gone, not wanting to be the cause for his not returning if he looked in to his partners room and saw me. After a while though I decided that he wasn't coming back, and made my way into the room to do my long delayed observations. Well, the ones the doctor wanted at any rate.

As I checked the monitors and everything else I couldn't stop my mind picking over what he had said to her. There were so many things I hadn't understood, but the emotion underneath them was unmistakable. I wondered how he would cope if she didn't make it, if he would cope at all. With the way he had been talking I wouldn't be surprised to find him in here after a few months, unwilling to live in a world without her.

I glanced down at my chart and found that I'd filled in all but one measurement, the EEG reading. I turned to look at it and nearly dropped the clipboard in my hands in shock. There were spikes on it. Little things barely big enough to register, but they were there. Whatever he'd said at the end there had certainly made an impact on her. I felt a smile blossom over my face as I noted down the readings and allowed myself to hope that perhaps, just perhaps, things were going to turn out for the best.


End file.
